The problem with 90210

Annie, Dixon and their impossibly young looking mom

I wanted to like the CW's remake of Beverly Hills 90210. I really did. But after watching a few episodes back to back on CW.com (stupid Direct TV does not carry the channel in our area. Do I really have to hook my TV up to rabbit ears just to watch Supernatural, Smallville and Gossip Girl?! Did I just admit to watching Gossip Girl?!?), I have to say that I truly am disappointed with this one.

The show's biggest problem is that it is following in some pretty big footsteps. Who does not remember, fondly or otherwise, the adventures of Brenda and Brandon as they navigate the complicated life of a Beverly Hills teen? Admit it or not, most of us who are old enough to have watched the original series found a favorite in the Walsh kids, Kelly, Dylan, Donna, Steve and even little David. They were young and beautiful, yes, but more importantly, they were all really likable. Sure, we don't all drive red BMWs like Kelly, or have a TV star as a parent like Steve, but those characters' personalities were believable enough that we somehow were able to relate to their issues. Raise your hand if you ever said the words, "Donna Martin graduates!"

The way they were

In sharp contrast are 90210's current cast of angsty teens who come off almost like caricatures of the characters they are supposed to play. Where do I begin? How about with Naomi? As the school's apparent queen bee, she would be the modern day equivalent of Kelly Taylor. But unlike Kelly, whose bitchy facade was tempered by a kind of vulnerability, there is nothing sympathetic about Naomi. She, so far, has been all about herself. Even her supposed affection for troubled friend Adrianna rings untrue. Not to mention the fact that Annalynne McCord plays the character more like a thirty-something Hollywood trophy wife rather than a high school teenager. I mean, how are we supposed to root for Naomi and on-again-off-again boyfriend Ethan when every time they're on-screen together, she looks like she could be his mom.

Ethan and Naomi

Kansas-transplants Annie and Dixon Wilson are equally disappointing. Part of why the first 90210 was successful is because you felt for Brandon and Brenda. Most of us will never know what it's like to be a Beverly Hills insider, and as the Minnesota twins made the painful adjustment to their new life, we felt their pain. Not so with Annie and Dixon, who after only a few perfunctory scenes of awkwardness between the newcomers and the locals, seem to immediately fall right into step with the kids at Beverly Hills High. Dixon had a little tussle with the a player in the hockey team, but after a orchestrating a prank involving pigs, he's suddenly best buds with everyone, scoring a skinny girlfriend (Kelly's now teenage sister Erin) along the way. And Annie, who suffered the initial rebuff of Naomi and the cruel spotlight of Erin's blog, managed to star in the school play, become BFFs with Erin, and date two of the hottest guys in school. All in eight episodes or less. I mean, where are the growing pains? How are we to grow to like these characters when we don't see them struggle at all?

Dixon and Erin

But I think the show's biggest problem is that it's not sure what it wants to be at all. The old 90210 was clearly a teen drama, at a time when teen dramas were few and far between. Times have changed. Now the new show is just one of many that feature perfectly coiffed and fabulously dressed teens. 90210 doesn't seem certain whether it wants to be the other Gossip Girl or the next 7th Heaven. For now, it lacks the appeal of either shows and as far as this viewer is concerned, falls way short of making the DVR list (Even if I could. Do you hear me Direct TV?!).

Photos: CW.com, tv.popcrunch.com